“Because we are food for worms, lads. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die.”

So says John Keating, played by Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, a movie which has been instrumental in the way I deal with my students.

Williams committed suicide yesterday at his home in California. He’d apparently been battling depression for years. And it got me thinking about how much I loved him in both Good Will Hunting, and Dead Poets Society (both of which deal with some heavy stuff).

But it also got me thinking about people and love and how we need to be good to ourselves and each other.

I was at a concert in 2011, sitting with a friend at Commonwealth Stadium, waiting for the opening act to start their set. She turned to me and said “So I have something to tell you, and my doctor says it’s important to tell people.” She stopped, and I knew this was a big deal. “I went to the doctor a while ago and I’m taking pills for anxiety and depression. I let it go for ten years before I did anything about it.”

And it all clicked. Her continued unemployment. Her lack of drive to do much of anything. She put on a brave face for years, and if she hadn’t have told me I don’t know if I’d have ever figured it out. I didn’t know what questions to ask, and I didn’t know how. And I didn’t know how because, as a society and as individuals, we don’t talk about it.

We don’t talk about it because it’s weird to think that someone might be sick without any kind of physical signs. We don’t talk about it because if you’ve never been depressed or suffered from a panic attack, you can’t possibly know what it’s like. We don’t talk about it because it’s hard. And we don’t like hard conversations.

But we need to have them. And the people we love (and who love us) need to know that they can come to us and tell us what’s happening. They need to know that they can tell us that they’re sad. And lonely. And hurting. And desperate. And one step away from the ledge.

And we need to tell them that we love them. Often, and repeatedly. Because at the end of the day, the love we share is all we have.

You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
– Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting