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I’ve been a sports fan all my life.

My first complete memory is me sitting in front of the TV in my mom and dad’s family room, watching a hockey game. I was 2. I can still remember what it felt like when my dad lifted me up to stand on the boards at the Northlands Coliseum and receive a puck from Dave Hunter. I was 3.

I remember, acutely, picking an NFL team at age 7 – I used to play a game with my dad (though I’m not sure if he knew it was a game) where I’d cheer for the team his team was playing. This led me to picking the Green Bay Packers, who were playing against the Chicago Bears. In terms of choosing a team, this might have been the most significant departure from my dad’s choices. (As an aside, I wasn’t allowed to cheer for the Red Sox, though he DID let the Blue Jays slide because they’re a Canadian team. I’ve since flipped allegiance to the Yankees. Sue me. Also, Dad’s dislike of basketball has contributed to my own dislike of the same.)

I like being part of the community of sports fans. I’ve built some decent online friendships with people because of my love for (or hatred of) certain teams. This season, the most fun I have while watching the Oilers is when I’m also on Twitter, participating in the conversation there as well. I host a Super Bowl party every year, and even thought I’m definitely interested in the game, I always enjoy having people at my house to partake in the festivities. I actively watch the NHL playoffs, despite the Oilers not being there. MLB playoffs are pure magic, and while I don’t actively watch a lot of baseball through the regular season I make time to watch as much as possible in the fall.

So many of my good memories are wrapped up in sports. One of the best times in my life was the Oilers Cup run in 2006. While I only went to one game (Game 3 against Detroit in Round 1), I watched all of the games either with friends at their houses, or at (now-closed) Overtime on the south side. Though we never actually made a reservation, we had a table, and the same core group of people met for every game. I remember getting coverage at work (especially in the later rounds), and getting to the bar earlier and earlier; I’m pretty sure that for Game 7 of the SCF, I was there before 3pm for a 6pm start. That whole spring was exhilarating; I’ve never really been a part of anything that whipped an entire city into a frenzy. If I look back at it, one of my favourite parts about that time was not having to justify my interest in the team or the sport. I was an Edmontonian, so I was allowed to be on the Oilers bandwagon without question.

And while it’s not a new phenomenon, since then I’ve noticed that more leagues are somehow trying to reach a wider (read: female) fanbase while simultaneously alienating them from the conversation. It’s no secret that CFL and NFL teams have cheerleaders, the majority of whom are female. There’s a definite message being communicated about the role of women in the football world, and that message is being received by younger girls all the time. In 2009 I went to a football game in Kansas City, and at one point during half time the Chiefs junior cheerleaders were on the field; there were girls as young as 5 dressed like NFL cheerleaders, bare midriffs and all. I remember being a little horrified by that, but no one else seemed to think that was weird at all.

For a long time I was proud of the Oilers for having an on-ice crew of women and men who were dressed in “normal” clothes, and were in no way sexualized. Imagine my disappointment with the introduction of so-called “ice girls” around the league, and my ultimate dismay at the addition of the Oilers Octane to the Edmonton Oilers community. It’s not that I have a problem with cheerleaders or dancers (because I don’t – if you’re good at something, why not get paid to do it?), it’s that I don’t really like how their bodies are being used to sell a product that is only tangentially related to what the women are actually doing. It’s somehow not fair that the most prominent role of women in those major sports leagues is as what amounts to window dressing for the main product. When I watch sports, I’m watching the game; I don’t think that would change if there were shirtless male cheerleaders on the sidelines of Packers games.

I understand why that would never happen – I am not the target audience. As a female sports fan, I am not (and never will be) the person to whom the product is aimed. I’m allowed to like the sport, but as soon as I express a thought about how attractive an athlete is my entire knowledge base is questioned. I’ve had numerous interactions, both online and offline, where I’ve been accused of liking a team because the star player is attractive. I’ve been told “You don’t know anything, you’re just a stupid bitch.” I’ve had to prove, time and again, that my membership in whatever sports fandom is legitimate and based on knowledge of the game rather than a deep appreciation for football pants and playoff beards. Some pro leagues try to target me to buy merchandise, but I’m not interested in a pink jersey, or fancy team earrings, or a necklace or a heart shaped keychain featuring the logo of my favourite team.

In December I wrote about Mark Spector’s casual sexism regarding female politicians, and I blocked over 50 comments on that post, all of which were some variation of “shut up you stupid bitch”. I received some very negative responses on Twitter when I posted that, but I also found a lot of support from some really great people who helped fend off some of the more obnoxious mansplainers.  I like to participate in meaningful, relevant discussion about sports. I’m writing for The Oilers Rig, and while the subject matter leaves a lot to be desired, I’m enjoying writing about sports in a place where my presence isn’t questioned. I frequently comment on posts at OilersNation and have found that when I use my actual account info, I get far more people “trashing” my comments than when they don’t know I’m a woman. I made a decision not to hide that anymore, and my picture is attached to every comment I leave. I can handle the backlash I get, if there is any, but I really wish I didn’t have to.

I’ve been a sports fan all my life. It’s just so much harder now than it was before.