I’ve grown accustomed to men telling me how to feel about things. I don’t like it, and I don’t think it should be the norm. I have enough trouble dealing with my own feelings; I certainly don’t need someone else jumping in and telling me that I’m overreacting about something, or jokingly assuming “oh it must be that time of the month”. And most of the time, I can ignore it because I genuinely don’t have time for people who actively practice intolerance.

I can honestly say that until fairly recently, I haven’t given much thought to feminist issues (for a lot of reasons), but the biggest is that I’ve never really felt that I’ve been disadvantaged because I’m a woman. I grew up comfortably middle class, never wanted for anything, and have found myself a member of not one but two unions, both of which guarantee that my salary is equivalent to men who do the same work with the same training.

Even though I don’t necessarily experience it on a regular basis like some women do, I know that institutionalized sexism is alive and well because there are people like Mark Spector in the world. Spector is a (bad) hockey reporter for Sportsnet, and his job requires him to talk about the Oilers. Before he made the jump to TV he wrote for the Edmonton Journal (and maybe he still does, but I haven’t read a real sports page in YEARS), and I used to think that he was pretty good at what he does. Once he made the jump to TV, however, I started to feel like he thought he was better than his counterparts.

Today I found out he’s a bigot, and sexist, and a general piece of garbage. In the wake of today’s (apparently not-sudden) Wild Rose party floor crossing in the Alberta Legislature, Spector took to twitter to discuss what he thought about our former premier (Alison Redford) and the former leader of the official opposition party (Danielle Smith). 

Now, I don’t necessarily disagree that this problem had a lot to do with the way Redford managed some of her affairs, but I don’t for one minute believe that it has anything to do with Redford OR Smith being women. Bad politicians are bad politicians, and it’s amazing to me how often we see examples of that. (If you don’t believe me, watch the opening segment of pretty much any episode of The Daily Show, and you’ll see what I mean.)

It doesn’t really bother me that Spector feels that Redford and Smith are bad politicians because they’re women. People are entitled to their own opinions (even when they’re horribly, misguidedly wrong). What bothers me is that he assumed that Jason Gregor’s wife tweeted something rational in response. What bothers me is that Spector lives in a world where women are obviously lesser beings than men. What bothers me most is that the natural conclusion he jumped to was “female politician = bad”. I find this offensive on so many levels, the least of which is the assumption that women can’t do the job. I appreciate that there aren’t nearly as many women involved in politics as there are men, and so when female politicians make headlines, it’s not necessarily for good things. But I’d be willing to bet the farm that Spector has no idea why that’s true.

It is nearly impossible for a woman to become a provincial or federal politician in this country if she isn’t already a lawyer or high-powered business executive, even in small, rural ridings. A female politician has to work doubly hard to earn the respect and trust of the people she wishes to represent, because the prevailing belief is that she will be too emotional to make decisions. People will ask female politicians how they can expect to balance the demands of being a mother with being a politician, and while they usually graciously answer that question, it’s crucial to note that male politicians are NEVER asked the same thing.

I’m a huge fan of Hillary Clinton. I don’t agree with some of her policies about certain issues, but if there’s someone in this world who is a badass in her own right, it’s her. I was crushed when Obama won the Democratic nomination in 2008, because I firmly believed (and still do) that Clinton was the best choice for president at that point. Instead, she was named Secretary of State, and (opinions on Benghazi notwithstanding) one of the most powerful people in the world.

Despite her considerable professional accomplishments, people still found time to criticize her hair, wardrobe, ability to make decisions because of her daughter being pregnant, and all manner of things that no one in their right mind would have ever asked Obama about. She’s dealt with the sexist lines of questioning with her usual aplomb (because besides having been in positions of great power, she’s also incredibly smart), but admitted that the digs at her wardrobe and hair, while irrelevant to her job performance, deeply hurt. This in itself is shameful, that an intelligent, well-respected lawyer, state senator, presidential candidate, secretary of state, and author is judged not by what she did at work but by what she wore and how her hair looked. The worst part of this is that no one says anything truly disparaging about NJ governor Chris Christie’s appearance, even though he’s, well, Chris Christie.

If someone tried to tell me that I couldn’t do my job because I’m a woman, I’d not-so-subtly tell them where to go and how to get there, using language and gestures that would probably make my mother mad. But this happens to women EVERY GODDAMN DAY. It’s unconscionable that in 2014 men are STILL so threatened by the intelligence and potential and capabilities of women that and entire gender is reduced to a series of punch lines and stereotypes. We are more than half of the population of this planet, and are still earning less for equal work. We are still being told that we “can’t handle” certain things because we’re too delicate. We are still, for whatever arcane reason, still not good enough even though our species will, quite literally, die without women.

Maybe you think this isn’t a big deal, but I want you all to consider the following:

Imagine constantly being told that you’re overreacting, and are too emotional, and “need to relax” and that “it’s not that big of a deal” WHENEVER you speak out about something. It comes from strangers, friends, family, acquaintances, bosses, pretty much everyone you come in contact with. And somehow, while attempting to make a living and contribute positively to a community, you’re expected to be demure, deferent, and the human equivalent of a doormat. And when you do point out the obvious problems with that, you get told to “relax” or “don’t take things so seriously” or “Oh he probably didn’t mean it.”

If you can’t be respectful of a space (online or physical) that includes women and men, you are the problem and need to educate yourself.

I REFUSE to let my gender be reduced to stereotypes and jokes because to recognize us as productive members of society is uncomfortable for you.